Fox hole friends
Relationships that
every man needs
He stepped up to the
podium and begun to speak. A tall man with close cut hair and a calm
authoritative demeanor to him. I thought to myself, surely he is a coach of
some kind or military. As the man substituting for my pastor this Sunday spoke
on, he explained what he would be speaking on that day. Relationships that
every Christian needs to have, he got my attention. He titled it "fox hole
friends", and he mentioned that he was a former Green Barrett, now he
really had my attention.
As you already
now, the easiest way to get the out most
respect from me is by mentioning that you belong to the breed of men and women
that selflessly give their services for their country and the protection of the
freedoms many of us take for granted. If you want not only my respect but my
absolute nerdy attention, then you
should mention that you also belong to the excellent breed that is any American
Special Forces. This man had both of those, so I of course gave him my full
attention. I honestly can not do his
message justice, but I will do my best to share with you what I learned and
encourage you to create these relationships in your life.
First of all we need
to kill a myth, that myth is the one of Rambo. What I mean is the myth of being
independent, self sufficient and the one
man to save the day. We all want to be the guy that single handedly took down
the enemy and achieved the impossible goal. Slap on some camo paint, tie your
bandanna and lock and load right? Not so much.
You see the first
thing taught to us that Sunday was that the lone commando always dies. We need
each other, Rambo is a myth, the reality
is that going at life all our own will actually result in very negative results.
The word of God says this:
Proverbs 27:17
"As iron
sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."
As much as you think
you may be "spiritually mature", as much as you read your Bible and
pray, the truth is that the moment you become isolated, the moment you alienate yourself from other
friends that can sharpen you, that is the moment you bought into the
"Rambo myth" and that is when you are the most vulnerable. No one,
not pastors or teachers, not church
staff or clergy should ever be so "mature" in their faith that they
walk the road alone. If they do, the road they are walking will lead them to
places they don't want to go.
In short, we need
each other, we need a "ring of protection" as the speaker so
adequately put it. Did you notice the shape? A ring, not a pyramid or a cell
block, but a ring. Rings have symbolized equality for a long time and that is
exactly what I got out of this analogy.
You don't need a pyramid of leaders on top of you, each level crushing
down on little old you all the way at the bottom, never being able to speak to the guy at the
top, always having to go through a middle guy to get any type of spiritual
guidance. Neither do you need a cell
block of people constantly nagging you and telling you what you can or can not
do, keeping you from making your own decisions and god forbid, learning from
your own mistakes. No, what you need is a ring, a ring of people, not
containing you like you are some kind of dangerous beast, but watching your
surroundings, all 360° degrees around you, watching where you can't, invested, focused, knowing that if you go down they will suffer.
These are the friends that you need, and the structure that will help you mature
and achieve the purpose God designed for you, these are "Fox hole
friends" and they are watching your back.
There are three
types of "fox hole friends", the watchmen, the warrior and the
workman, all four(including you) must agree to submit to each other, to trust
that each other have the best intentions for the group and that the only way to
win is if you all make it to the end, not just you, not just him, not just
them, but all of you. Let's break down their characteristics.
The watchman.
It has been a long
night, the enemy has gone quiet a while ago, it's been a while since you heard
the passing whoosh and smack of tracer rounds against your defensive position.
It's safe to sleep, at least for a little while. You mound up some dirt to hug
your hips and support your neck as best you can, everyone is sleep, except for
one guy. He carries the map and the binoculars, he always takes the first and
last guard of the night, under his watch you can rest, you trust him. This man
is a man of vision, he knows the word of God and has been in battles before. He
knows where you want to go and if you follow his guidance the whole crew can
get there. This is more likely a person older than you, a person you honor and
respect. A person that doesn't prey on your weakness but watches over you while
you are battle fatigued. Trust this man with everything, be raw with him, share your passions and
concerns, more Importantly, learn from
him, one day you may have the night watch for someone else.
The warrior.
You are awakened by
the watchman, you wipe the haze of your
eyes and look down the scope, nothing, you see nothing. Out of nowhere you see
outlines, first one then two, after that your eyes adjust and you realize there
are dozens. Its hard to spot them in the dark and fog, it's a good thing you
had a trained eye ever vigilant in the night.
He spotted them at a good time. The enemy is trying to flank you, to bad
for them, you have friends on all sides of you, at the count of three you open
fire and the party starts on all flanks, you are secure, as long as they have
ammo you know your friends won't stop squeezing the trigger until you are safe.
These are men that have your back, you have gone through similar struggles and
have similar goals. These men you will meet throughout your life, often after
or during an intense struggle. You laugh, you share secrets and dreams with
them and they know you like no one else, they know when you are giving it your
all and when you are slacking off. They don't let you get away with laziness,
not because they are better than you, but because they want you running along
side of them. Trust these men, they may have no idea where they are going
themselves but you can bet that they are not giving up until they reach the
objective with you.
The workman.
You are sending
rounds down range, everybody is focused. You hear the watchman spot some
targets and you take them down, your breathing is controlled, and although your heart rate is through the
roof, you are hitting your targets. You are feeling pretty good about
yourself, at least as good as a man can
feel with bullets flying past his head, you take out more targets and then a
sharp pain shoots down your arm from your shoulder, followed by warmth. It was a lucky shot, but
hey luck or not, the round hit and you are now bleeding. You feel a hand grip
your boot, in shock you turn quickly to see who it is. It's the workman, he is
dragging you to the lowest part of the fox hole. You watch him move quickly and
deliberately, he pulls out his med kit and gets to work. This kid is fast, and
now that you are hit, it's a good thing
you've been training him. This man is probably younger than you, you will run
into him as you walk through life, he will be willing, teachable and available.
He will be your friend and your student. Share your entire life with him, don't
deny him your time. Have him over for family dinner with you and invite him to
run errands, every second spent with you he learns what a life devoted to God
is like. Listen to him, often his wisdom will impress you and get you through
tough times. Above all if you make a promise keep it. He is your Timothy, not a spendable pawn, but a valuable
important part for you to reach your purpose.
The pain is still
there, the bullet passed clean through and the kid wrapped you tight, the kick
of your rifle brings agony to your shoulder but its nothing that you can't bite
down and overcome. The last of the targets are down and a silence falls over your
fox hole once again, you survived, every one is accounted for and is safe for
you to move out to the extraction point, the friends you made in that hole will
be in your memories for ever.
As we move through
life things will get tough, often times we will realize that our best option is
to dig down and hold on. These times will mature you, these times will harden
you to better face future attacks, when you find yourself in these times make
sure you are surrounded by friends, in life they are the difference between
success and failure.
As always, thank you
for reading and see you next week.
Below is a link to
the video recording of the "fox hole friends" message.
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